Fire and Ice
by Withoutausername
Summary: She started out as fire, but now she is made of ice.
1. Fire & Ice

I want to thank everyone for their reviews and support. I hope you enjoy this story too. I'm not sure if I will continue this, but we shall see.

-Ris

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.

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With all the strength of a raging fire

She was fire, passion, burning bright in the beginning. Her dreams were like a shooting star, but she was the sun with unbound opportunities. Her fire was her spark it blazed endlessly with no chance of being snuffed out. Everyone could see it in her eyes that her spark was powerful. Her passion and dreams were being fed from that fire. She sparked ans sizzled and burned her way through life. She was a raging inferno casting her light to those around her, and like moths to the flame they followed.

_**Fire**_

Love should have been an incinerator, kindling, to help fuel her fire. Love should be a way for her to grow. For the fire inside of her to increase and allow her light to be cast further to those around her. Love shouldn't contain her spark. Love shouldn't decrease her light. Love should be the oxygen it needs to fan the flames, not the breath of life that snuffs it out like an easily forgettable candle on a birthday cake. So love dims her fire, and continues to dim. With every look, every smile, every touch that doesn't belong to her the fire is being smothered. With every dismissal, every hand holding her back, every joke at her expense she is being snuffed out. Her light was being killed, it withdrew from being cast around her, and shrunk to protect itself. It slunk back within her to be protected. Love should have protected her light. It didn't. He didn't. For a time, in the beginning, it helped her grow. Looks, smiles, touches, and words that were for her helped the flames burn purer. As time went on the flames were doused and cast aside for starlight and daydreams.

_**Ice**_

As the flames shrunk her insides grew colder and colder. The ice slunk in and spread. The light in her eye dimmed and in its place was an icy block that blocked others from seeing the tiniest spark that remained to be protected. Instead of the fire she used to breathe out it is now frost. Frost spreads through her veins. She isn't cold because the ice has frozen her and she is numb. There is a bite to her now. A chilled bite to her words and actions. Instead of lighting up the way for others she is frigid, and leaves them looking for an alternative path. She is called an ice queen, but what others don't realize is that she was a queen to begin with. They just forgot. They forgot how she was before. Warmer, brighter, a shinning sun with endless opportunities. Now the sun is gone, leaving a cold barren galaxy in its wake.

Ice so cold it burns.

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I hope you enjoyed. I wasn't sure where this was going, but please let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!

-Ris


	2. What little girls are made of

Double update to make up for my missing week and being a few days late! Thank you everyone for your continued support and kind words! I hope you enjoy this one too.

-Ris

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.

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Sugar, spice, and everything nice is what little girls are made of. She's made of stronger stuff. Fire, ice, and strong gneiss is her core. She burns brighter than the sun, and is more harsh than a Siberian winter.

The others could hold the title of what little girls are made of. It's all apart of the recipe, but sometimes the attributes are a bit stronger in the individual.

One was sugar. Overly sweet, too sweet, so much that it left an ache. Always helpful and sweet, but slowly corroding everyone around her. Leaving cavities in her wake. These holes that the others could try and try but never be enough to fill in the hollows of what was left. Everyone loves sugar, but no one could ever be as sweet and deceptively innocent.

Sugar and spice were sisters. They both lived in harmony for a time. While everyone loved sugar they felt that spice was too strong. She was the kick that people ran away from because they didn't like the overt flavor that left them in need of a cool drink or weren't truly prepared for her. She was overtly strong because she wanted to be recognized. Although she had been around longer she wasn't as desired as her sister, sugar. She was strong and in her own way, but others overlooked her or shied away in trepidation of her kick. Spice wasn't necessarily unloved, but she felt that way next to sugar. Everyone disregarded that spice could be sweet and only focused on the parts that were bitter, flavorless, or too strong. Spice could be so much more, she had the potential, but why try something different when sugar is a reliable love. Spice is always overlooked unless she is needed, while sugar is everywhere.

Everything nice is always the best friend. It really doesn't matter to who, because everything nice can never be truly mean. While she tries sometimes it doesn't last long before she has warmed back up to someone. Nice can be mean and nice can be strong, but she plays her part well. Nice can never be sugar no matter how sweet she can be nor can she be the intimidating spice. Nice lives in a world of rainbows, kittens and puppies, and sunshine. She is the beacon that is so very bright and brings joy and childlike innocence. Nice is well liked, but she's easily replaced.

They can keep their titles, and she'll just be everything they're not.

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Hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you think.

-Ris


	3. Cold

I have a better idea where I want this to go, but it may take sometime before we reach there. I do want to show her animosity to those that are in the group – as it is not just Beck's fault for her becoming the way she is. It is my belief that every person added to this, and I wanted to help depict that before we move on. The chapters may seem repetitive for a little while, but I am trying to work through some character aspects before we move on. I want to thank everyone for their continued support, and I hope you enjoy this new installment!

-Ris

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.

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Cold, but I'm still here.

She was filled with passion from the beginning. Stars danced in her eyes, and she had hope flowing through her veins. Passion danced across her skin every waking moment. This consumed her soul, and continued to feed her need. Music, song, acting it was all different parts of her character. She wasn't soft, but solid in everything she did. She knew she was on top because she made her way to that spot. She danced and glided and picked her weapons wisely to take down those in her way.

She was an alpha female, and that is why she fought. She fought and fought because she always had those trying to take her down from her spot. She had to fight her family for her right to have dreams, she had to fight her boyfriend for making her jealous, she had to fight girls from trying to take what was hers, and she had to fight herself because she could feel the weight of her world slowing cracking. Her bark wasn't worse than her bite. They were both filled with frozen fire.

It wasn't just one thing that frosted her over. A multitude of different events led up to this. Her breath of fire choked, and all that was left was smoke. He was a huge factor, but really she can't place blame solely on him. She is not so foolish, now, that she can't see what went wrong in her life. Her family, her peers, her teachers, and her friends all added a layer of frost to her heart. The others, her friends, helped in ways they wouldn't understand.

Her sunshine was warm and they fed of each other for so long. She doesn't always act as close to her sunshine friend as they truly are. They have been friends for so long that it is just part of their nature. Nothing can really change that, but that doesn't mean that their friendship is easy. The sun has her own worries and hope and dreams that she tries to fight for. However, there is no worry that the sun will ever burn out because she doesn't have to be the brightest nor does she have to be at the very number one spot to be happy. They loved each other dearly, but how can they continue to do so when the sun shined for everyone.

The curly haired nerd that wasn't afraid to say what he wanted, but threw his voice to hide behind others could have been her closest friend. Could have. They could have been close, but his fear, distrust, and plain cruelness were never her cup of tea. His off hand comments helped bring out her insecurities in little ways, but they compounded and built and grew. He was dim before he could even begin, but they shared inner thoughts and likes that the others could never understand. He was the shade on a bright sunny day, and so he unknowingly tried to cast out his shade onto others. They weren't meant to be friends, but they could have. Life is never meant to be lived in the could haves and should haves.

Her songbird belonged to her first, but not in a romantic sense. He was her complimentary voice that shared the heat in her veins. His voice holds the magic that once danced in her soul, and that is why she warms when hearing it. That is why when they are alone together making music she defrosted a bit and their music warmed her up for just a moment. He was hers, but he outgrew her and forgot. He forgot that they were friends for so long that all he sees is her frozen visage. He forgot that she wasn't always this way; that once upon a time she was the brightest star.

By the time that the newest star showed up on the scene she was already cold. Like one of the dead stars that still shines even though it had died countless years before. Her light shined, but next to the newest star it was dim. Even the sun was dim in the new star's wake. How could she ever hope to feel warmth again when all she felt now was even colder? Any hope she had of getting her warmth back was becoming smaller and smaller. The new star didn't know, necessarily, but she was selfish in her own ways. When she wanted something she made it happen it didn't matter what she had to do to do it. So all the hard work of others and their plans and dedications could simply be wiped away when she wanted something without a care for them. So, is it any wonder that when the dying star sparked up for a moment to try and take down the new star? It shouldn't have been a surprise after all she was made of fire once.

Shine bright like a diamond.

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Hope you enjoyed, please let me know what you thought! Like I said at the beginning I do have an idea of where I want this story to go, and I want to pre-apologize for any representativeness that may occur in the chapters that follow. With that said, thank you for reading and for those that have continued to support me and my stories.

-Ris


	4. Songbird

Hey everyone! I hope you all are doing alright. This is a bit shorter than I had originally planned, but hopefully it will still convey everything I wanted it to express. Please let me know what you think! If you have any suggestions or request feel free to let me know. Enjoy!

-Ris

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.

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_Once upon a memory ago_

It was different – they were different then. She was different. I can't fault anyone. In truth we were all different. I remember she was beautiful. She was just becoming aware of how beautiful she was, but it was there right under the surface. She was always a bit acerbic, but she was still fun and a huge part of the group. It was her ideas that spawned some of the greatest adventures we had. I hate to sound so nostalgic, but I don't know exactly when everything went wrong. I don't think there was one moment that was as catalyst for the rest.

We didn't grow up together, and we really shouldn't have all managed to be friends. We were all different parts but we made each other whole. That sounds so sappy, but it is the truth. Cat needs us to help ground her before she floats away. Robbie wasn't always the way he is now. We met on the first day and familiarity births friendships. Beck has always been handsome, I am completely comfortable saying that, but he didn't use it for his own advantages until later. Sure, girls thought he was cute and flirted all the time, but he was an awkward guy without the confidence he has now. Back then he really liked Jade. It was cute, and that was one of the reasons I could never go for her. She was beautiful. She just didn't see it like everyone else did. She was a dark beauty. Not like she grew into, but still just on the edge of darkness that left you captivated.

We were friends. I guess we could say we are still friends. It isn't the same now. Sometimes I even forget this. They weren't just my friends, but my family. They were the notes in my song, the harmony, the melody, and my everything. I figure that times cause people to drift and change. Freshman year seems like so long ago. It was really a time where we met and came together. We bonded. Everything was wonderful.

I don't recall the moment I went from being the me from then to the me now. It just happened. We can move forward. In fact, we have moved forward. I just feel that we left some of ourselves behind when we did. Perhaps like sand on the beach. We kept going and going but with every movement we lost a few more tendrils of ourselves. We can't ever get those exact pieces back, but we can continue to get new pieces. I don't know, I hate saying that, if we should all still be in the group we are anymore. We all have forgotten who we were and replaced those people with these new images.

Shouldn't we all be worried? I don't always think about it, but sometimes it slips into my mind. We were so close. Now were are almost strangers that stick together out of some twisted since of obligation and familiarity. Friendship shouldn't be like that. Life shouldn't be like that.

_Through the mirror of my mind..._

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Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed. I also hope I was able to portray inner Andre. I really like him as a character, and hope I did him justice. Please let me know what you thought! I love getting feedback. It helps me grow as a writer.

-Ris


	5. Orientation

Hey everyone! Thanks for your continued support! It means so much to me that you review/favorite/follow. I want to preface this chapter by saying that I am not good with dialogue – at all- and I tried my hand at it. Please let me know what you think about it, and how I can improve on it! I want to thank everyone again for their support, and I hope you enjoy!

-Ris

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.

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Welcome one and all to these hallowed halls

The ominous building loomed ahead. The sun was shining and the temperature was wonderful. In fact the entire morning was a picture perfect day. The crowds streamed through the doors at the entrance while the multifarious murmurs echoed the joy and recognition of friends meeting again for the first day of school. Students dancing through the halls, some singing or playing music, and others grouped together rehashing their days not spent together. The banner at the entrance welcoming new and returning students for another wonderful year. The pamphlet did not do the justice it deserved by the vast majority of students just within the entrance of the building. The information packet instructed the new students to attend orientation in the designated rooms based on last names.

A curly haired boy sat in the corner of the room not talking to anyone else. It was difficult being new, and even more so when you're shy or socially awkward. The minutes ticked by without anyone bothering to talk to him. It was a few moments later when two brunette girls walked through the door together laughing. They seemed to be good friends with each other.

The shorter brunette pointed over to the corner near the lone boy while bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. The paler of the two nodded and began to walk over to the open chairs where the other girl had indicated. "Hey!" exclaimed the shorter girl, "I'm Cat." The boy looked up in shock at being spoken to, "er- h-hi... um... I'm Robbie." Cat motioned to the other girl, "nice to meet you! This is Jade." Jade nodded at him in acknowledgment, "Hey." "Uh... so... you excited for school to start?" "Yeah! Totally! I can't wait, this is-" Cat began before being cut off by the clearing of the throat of a person at the front of the room.

"Hey everyone! Welcome to Hollywood Arts. This is going to be a great year, and I'm really glad you all had the chance to join us! First of all, I'm Megan. I'm a senior, and I'll be kind of like a mentor during the first week. Today will be super easy. Really all we have to do today is go over the info packet that you got in the mail. Any questions so far?"

A red headed boy on the other side of the room raised his hand, "yeah. I was wondering since this is orientation and all, why were there a bunch of upperclassmen here?" "Ah. Good question. You see, while this is orientation, which is basically, like, two days for in coming students some of the upperclassmen show up to get stuff ready for the year. Groups and clubs get things set up and talk to their advisers about different things, and some of the students want to be involved in the whole orientation thing." Megan replied before continuing, "I know this can be a bit overwhelming. Trust me, I've been there. I promise everything gets better and easier here on out. So, I'll just go ahead and tell you that according to today's schedule... first we are doing an introduction and going to play a few games to get to know each other until our tour of the school at nine. Then, we have some more packets of stuff, basically normal school jargon, then lunch, and finally to finish off the day you'll be getting to meet some of the other upperclassmen and some of the clubs will talk to you. If we don't get to something today, no worries! We still have tomorrow, and it will be a bit different from today."

Orientation continued on with the students getting to become familiar with the school. Questions were asked, and answers were provided. The group of students became more familiar with each other as the time passed. Cat, Robbie, and Jade stuck together in their own micro group learning more about each other. Lunch time came quickly enough and so the group set out to the coolest "cafeteria" ever. After being introduced to Festus's grub truck they looked around at all the different tables that had been claimed. Most of the spots were taken with a seat or two open, but they wanted to be able to sit together like they had been all day. After a few moments of perusal they found a table in the middle with two guys sitting there. The three walked over to the duo and Jade asked, "Hey, do you mind if we join you?" The boy on the left, chocolate skin and caramel dipped chocolate eyes looked up from the conversation, "Yeah, no problem. I'm Andre and this guy is Beck." Cat was back to bouncing on her toes, Robbie awkwardly waved, and Jade grinned in return, "Thanks, I'm Jade and these are Robbie and Cat." Beck smiled at the group and waved to the open spots, "nice to meet you guys."

Every story has a beginning, and this was theirs.

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I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you thought. I would really appreciate any feedback so that I can continue to grow as a writer.

I don't recall an episode about them meeting each other, and I wanted to show that they began just like anyone else. Gathering up the courage to meet new people at a new place with nerves shooting through their bodies is a big part of growing up. On that note I don't believe that they all knew each other before joining H.A. so with this orientation they were able to meet. If there is one thing I know about orientation - you tend to stick with the people you meet there one way or another.

-Ris


	6. Letters

Sorry for the long hiatus. I became really put off by some aspects of writing and posting. I don't have internet at my house, and it is very difficult to find a place with free and accessable wi-fi in my town. This chapter has been floating in my head for some time. I've jotted it down, earased, rewritten, rethought, acted it out in my head countless times before I came to this as the finished product. I am really hoping that is an acceptable way I wished to portray this relationship. I want to stress that I am not a mother and I don't have a mom and so anything that has to do with mothers always leaves me with a sense of separation in trying to get across the points in that type of relationships. The only way I can think to address a mother is by notes. Either the concept of writing to ones mom or having her leave notes. In fact, one of my friends created an email for her baby so that we can send her stuff via the email as she grows up, and when she is (however) old she can access it and see all the things we have sent her. I loved that idea and reworked this into something similar.

Sorry for the really long note! Before we go on I want to take a moment to thank everyone that has continued to support both my stories and myself. Seriously you guys are amazing and one of the reasons that I can smile during the day. THANK YOU. I hope you enjoy – please let me know what you think. With out further delay I present the newest chapter!

Ris

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.

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Oh how the years go by

Baby,

I can't believe it. I can't believe I was blessed with the chance to be a mommy. I know your daddy and I are so excited. Right now your are probably a bunch of cells. I don't know! I just found out I was pregnant with you, and I'm already enamored. I can't stop crying! This is beyond anything I could ever wish for. You are my little miracle and I can't wait! I'm going to start thinking of names and planning your nursery and everything. I know it is probably too soon, but I am just so, so glad that you will be a part of this family. I can't think straight right now I'm just so over the moon excited. I plan on writing down these letters every chance I get and keep them stored away for you when you are older.

Love,

Mommy

–

Baby girl,

Hi baby, I'm your mommy. We found out today that you are a girl. I'm so excited! I can't wait for you to join us. I don't know what to say. I was so excited to find out that I was pregnant with you, and now I get to have my own little baby girl! I love you.

Love,

Mommy

–

Baby girl,

Hey baby girl, it's mommy again. You joined the world today! It was long, tiring, and you had us worried for awhile. You fought so hard. You're a fighter, baby girl, and I know that no matter what happens you'll fight for yourself. But, now you are here with me and you are absolutely perfect. I cried when they brought you to me; you are so beautiful. You are my little gem stone. I can't believe that I helped creating you. You've got your whole life ahead of you and mommy is going to be there through every step of the way.

Love,

Mommy

–

Baby girl,

Today you turn three! You are so vibrant. You're my light in the dark. I know times can be tough, and you may not understand everything that is happening in the world, but I want you to know that your mommy loves you. I don't want you to ever forget that I love you with my whole heart. I want you to have the best birthday, and that is why I am awake at five in the morning checking in on you and making sure everything for today is perfect. You are even more beautiful than when you were born. Happy birthday baby girl!

Love,

Mommy

–

Baby girl,

Today was your fifth birthday! You are growing up so fast! I can't believe it's happening in front of my eyes. You are the most precious thing in my entire world. I love you so much, baby girl. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the princess presents as much as I had hoped you would. You are your own little person, and I couldn't be more proud. Don't ever let that change sweetheart!

Love,

Mommy

–

Baby girl,

I know it's been tough, and you probably don't understand everything that has happened between your father and myself. I want you to know that it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Your father and I have grown apart, and our relationship was no longer in the best or the healthiest place it should or could have been. I just want to express how sorry I am that our problems have to affect you in any way. It is unavoidable since you are part of both of us. If there is one thing I want you to learn from this is that no man is worth you feeling like you are anything less than his only one. You should never have to deal with a man belittling you in any way, and you should always be in an equal relationship. I'm sorry, baby girl, that you have to go through this.

Love,

Mommy

–

Baby girl,

It doesn't matter how old you get you will always be my baby girl. You've grown so much in the time I've known you. I am so happy to see that you have grown into a gorgeous young lady. You are so smart and I can't believe that you are mine. Nothing major happened today, unlike my other letters, but I wanted you to know that I looked at you earlier and almost couldn't recognize the little pink wrinkle from all those years ago until you quirked your mouth. So many people say that you get your looks from me, but your attitude from your father. That little quirk is neither your father or myself it is all you. You don't understand how glad I am that there is a part of you that is neither his nor mine. You are your own person, baby girl, and I don't want that to ever change. I know you are growing up, but you will always be my baby.

Love,

Mommy

–

Baby girl,

CONGRATULATIONS! I am so, so happy that you got accepted into that school! I know you really wanted it. I knew that they would be able to see you for what you are worth. You are a star, baby girl, and I know your dad is disappointed in your decision to pursue this particular dream, but I am so proud of you. I know you will do so well! I can't wait to see my baby girl front and center on stage!

Love,

Mommy

–

Baby girl,

We argued today. We argue more often than not now, but it doesn't change the fact that I love you more than life itself. You are my world even if you treat it like a natural disaster. I can't condone what you did today. You deliberately disobeyed me. I feel that you have completely betrayed my trust. I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to accept that you went behind my and your father's back and did what you did. Regardless of how upset and disappointed in you I am, you are my baby girl. You can be reckless, but I hope this is what you really want. You've been growing farther and farther away from me, and I'm not prepared to let you go just yet. Hopefully after your punishment is up you will better understand what you have done wrong. I know you are your own person and you keep growing up faster and faster than I am prepared for, but you are no where near old enough to handle the consequences of your actions thus far.

Love,

Mommy

–

Baby girl,

You are a blessing! You shined so, so bright on the stage tonight. I almost didn't recognize my precious baby girl. You had my heart in a choke hold the entire performance. I'm sorry your father couldn't be there to see you, but I am very proud of you sweetheart! You did an amazing job, and I simply cannot wait to see you in the next play.

Love,

Mommy

–

Baby girl,

I know you were so excited at first when that boy asked you out, and I was happy that you were happy. However, now I am starting to wonder about this. I don't know what has happened, but you seem so angry and upset more often than you used to be. I never want you to be hurt, but I worry about you sweetheart. Relationships can be very difficult, as you know, and I only want what is best for you. Hopefully everything will work out soon enough and go back to normal. If you ever need me I'll always be here.

Love,

Mommy

–

Baby girl,

I know how excited you were about being the lead role in the play, and I am sorry that you didn't get it. I don't know what that man was thinking when he cast the other girl. You are perfect, and I want you to always remember that. You seem more upset with your boyfriend than usual. I don't know what to say to you. You don't seem to listen when I try to help, but that is okay. Next time I'm sure you'll get the lead again, and hopefully whatever problems you are having with him will get better.

Love,

Mommy

–

Baby girl,

I can hear you sobbing in your room, and I know I'm the last person you want to talk to about what happened. I just want you to know that I am always here if you need me. I'm not sure how I feel about your break-up. Admittedly it has nothing to do with me, but I don't know how to tell you what I have seen from that boy recently. You'll get through this, baby girl. Hearts break, but they have a way of healing while becoming stronger.

Love,

Mommy

–

Baby girl,

I don't know what happened to your dreams of being on stage, but I know you work just as hard writing and creating. I know you stayed up late at night constantly to make sure everything was perfect before you started filming your short film. I know how excited you were that the school gave you permission to show it unlike the previous venture into play writing. I was so upset that they wouldn't give me the time off to be able to see it, but I did hear from your father what he thought. I know it didn't turn out how you had wanted it, but you were able to have something you had dreamed up become a reality in a way. I was proud that you have gotten that far. I requested the night off so that I could be there, but I can't believe that they would cancel it last minute like that for... you called it a "Prome". I'm not really sure what a "Prome" is, but if it was anything like my proms from school I'm sure it was absolutely dreadful! I know with your boyfriend being away right now you are antsy when having to deal with whatever is going on at school, and I was going to video call him while I recorded your film showing. We had everything worked out until you announced that it had been canceled. I'm sorry, baby girl.

Love,

Mommy

–

Baby girl,

I know that you were able to "fix" your relationship with that boy. I call him that because he doesn't deserve a mention in these letters to you. I never wanted you to know what it was like to have your heart shatter so completely so. I don't know the whole story, just bits and pieces, but I want you to understand that these things happen. I know that they say that girls fall for guys that remind them of their fathers, but I never wanted you to fall for guy that was like him. Your father and I had our differences, and I had hoped that you would never have to understand the pain it is to deal with an ice block of a partner. That boy never had any emotions that weren't fabricated, and I never understood how you could fall for him so completely. I know you think it was love, but he treated you like your father treated me. Second hand love isn't love. Putting up with him and having to deal with insecurities is not a relationship.

I'm sorry that you are having to go through with this sweetheart, but hopefully you understand that he doesn't deserve you. If he couldn't without a doubt be committed to you, and I know he didn't necessarily cheat on you from what you said, but to deliberately make you jealous is not a healthy relationship. Partners are exactly that, partners. They work together. For a time, I remember how happy you were, but something changed and at first I thought it was you trying to find your place in the world. However, now I feel like he was what was changing you. Shaping you and twisting you and breaking you down. Compartmentalizing my baby girl. You have always been a fighter, and that has never changed, but something in you dimmed. It was like you had lost some of that spark that you were born with. That fire and passion that I could always see bursting from you on stage. I don't know how to help you, baby girl, and for that I am sorry. I can be here and listen and offer my shoulder, but there is not a thing in this world I can do. Your father was the same way, and I still have not completely healed from that break. I know I've said before that hearts will heal and become stronger when they do, but that doesn't change that fact that the healing process takes an undetermined amount of time. Love is painful and selfish, and even unconditional love isn't without its faults.

You are not a fool like me, baby girl, and that is one of the things that I have treasured the most about you. The say that the best thing a girl can be in this world is a beautiful little fool. I can't seem to escape that. Everywhere we have turned that is what the world wanted, but you are a different sort of duck. That has always pleased me. Worried me, sure, but pleased me none the less. You are no fool. You may make questionable and bad decisions, but you will grow from them. Just like you will grow from this break. You will learn that that boy was not able to push aside his own self to make sure that you were there next to him. The stage lights can blind, but you've always had a way to keep the stars in your eyes and not have to squint. I just want you to know that I've always love you, and I will continue to do so. You are my baby girl, my sweetheart, my little gem stone.

It couldn't be the way I raised you. At first I thought it was merrily a phase, but now I'm not so sure. The world is a strange place, and I have tried to shield you from the darker parts of it. However, I see that you found it without my help. I can't help but to blame your father and myself. Although I feel that your friends didn't help in protecting my baby. That boy. He was the sparkle hidden in my darling's eyes for so long, but now I can hardly see it because your eyes are closed off. I know that it is said that girls look for attributes of their father's. It's just that I wasn't prepared for you to fall for one that was so like your father it hurt. I don't understand how you didn't see that he was a frozen marble statue of a real boy. He wasn't fake, but he wasn't real either. He is an actor. It isn't so hard for someone to act like they are real when all they are is not. I miss my little girl, and I wish you wouldn't have followed in my footsteps. Your father is cold, I am frigid, your love is cold, and now you are too. No matter how cold I am, you are my baby girl.

I love you baby girl, my fighter, my sweetheart, my little gem stone, my Jade.

Love always,

Mommy

Dear Darlin', please excuse my writing.

I can't stop my hands from shaking

'cause I'm cold and alone tonight.

* * *

I hope you liked it. We don't really get to go into this relationship in the show, but I hope I was still able to do it justice from the bits that are addressed. Please let me know what you think! Thanks again!

Ris


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